Sexual Sabotage is not a phrase that is often heard unless it’s in reference to some wealthy entertainer who unwillingly impregnated a groupie because she punched holes in the condom or “forgets” to take her birth control. We teach young men with bright futures to watch out for unscrupulous women looking for an upgrade in lifestyle but why don’t we teach our young women the same? We use fear tactics on women to avoid rape, STDs, and unwanted pregnancy but we hardly ever educate them about men who will use sexual coercion techniques as a form of abuse and sabotage.
As a culture we discuss sex ad nauseam but have a very immature and narrow view of the topic. There are thousands of public service campaigns about sexual health, rape, women’s rights, but they never touch the grey areas like sexual sabotage. Sex education rarely addresses devious people who use sexual sabotage to manipulate emotions and abuse their victims. Sex requires maturity and a healthy set of boundaries that the person isn’t afraid to enforce. Awareness about sexual sabotage will allow people to make better choices about their partners and intimate activities.
Sexual sabotage is when a person uses dubious means to control and entrap an intimate partner. These saboteurs lack respect which is essential to healthy relationships. Vetting a sexual partner is important because there are people out there who will use sex to manipulate and abuse. We live in a society full of highly damaged people who will not think twice about destroying another person’s life.
Sexual saboteurs often control their victim through coercion and manipulation. For example if two people agreed to use protection and during the sexual act and one of the partners removes the condom unbeknownst to the other person, that is a form of sexual sabotage. The laws in the United States are behind when it comes to sexual sabotage. To my knowledge the act of removing a condom without consent is not illegal. In the rape case against Wikileaks founder Julian Assange, he allegedly removed the condom during sexual intercourse without the victim’s consent. Assange’s case sparked debate about whether removing a condom during sex without consent is a form of sexual assault.
Condom removal without the woman’s consent is probably one of the most common forms of sexual sabotage. The Huffington Post published an article about reproductive coercion and how medical professionals should handle those situations. Women on various discussion boards shared war stories about their own experience with sexual sabotage. There are women who had promising futures come to a halt because they ended up with a pathetic man who practice sexual sabotage. There are sociopathic men who purposely target highly desirable women who are beautiful, educated, upwardly mobile, or all the above just to knock them down a few notches. Sexual saboteurs often know the value of their prey and will take steps to decrease their victim’s pool of potential suitors because they are unable to compete. These men are jealous and intimidated because their victims are out of their league so they attempt to degrade her social status by forcing her to have a child out-of-wedlock, giving her a disease, or sexually humiliating her. The course of these women’s lives was forever changed because they ended up stuck with partners they didn’t want because some sick man decided to sabotage her birth control or condoms. Some women don’t keep the unwanted child and choose to abort which has its own set of ramifications. Regardless of what side of the argument you are one, no one takes abortion lightly. The worst story I heard was a woman’s ex-partner purposely gave her herpes because he didn’t want her to leave him and now she has to deal with outbreaks for the rest of her life.
Sexual saboteurs are morally bankrupt people who lack respect for their victims and have poor self-worth. Someone who is genuinely happy and adds value to the lives of others does not need to use deception to keep people around. It’s imperative that women properly vet any potential partner by getting to truly know their character. Watch out for signs because they are often there if you pay attention. Sexual intimacy clouds one’s judgment so it’s best to wait until you know who you are dealing with. With sex comes great responsiblity so please take the necessary measures to protect your choices in life. You are responsible for your own sexual choices, not the government, your doctor, society, or even your partner.